Wednesday, October 8, 2008

My take on how 15 minutes can greatly improve my marriage.

I was very blessed to find this at our local used book store. Barry and I have been talking for a long while of getting a devotional book to read together. Right now we do Bible studies together. They are actually Sunday school adult study books I get for free at a local thrift store. It's something we can do together and grow with the Lord. I know I have mentioned before that Barry is my best friend. We do everything together and genuinely love spending our time together. I am so grateful to the Lord for letting this be so. I see and hear of so many couples being in turmoil and it does break my heart. Sure, we have our differences here and there. But, three things I believe that get us through the times that we disagree:

  1. Our faith in the Lord.

  2. Our love for each other.

  3. Good communication skills.

Some great advice I can offer is: Don't wait to work on the above things until there are unsteady times. We love working on our marriage NOW. Even in the good times we can still keep up and remodel the foundation. This prevents future crumbling of it. We also have a great sense of humor. So these make for great times. Your at point where neither is defensive and can find humor in some of each other's habits:) We like to snuggle in bed after the little one is in bed. We then will read a devotional, Bible, Bible studies, or even do some exercises in a marriage workbook we bought from a local Christian store. We are building and making our foundation more sturdy. It makes for great meditation/worship time for the Lord, time for each other/marriage, and time for something we both enjoy. I think today, in my opinion, the two things that can ruin a foundation in a marriage is time and communication. Seems we are a nation that is devoting more time to our jobs than anything else. As a result our relationships and those in them are more focused on the benefits they reap from these jobs. I really think a lot of people have become more wrapped into the financial and material aspects of a relationship...rather than the emotional and love aspect. Look at it from this view. I admire Barry very much on different levels of his job: He is a wonderful provider, was blessed to receive three years of college to get a degree, and ten years to prune his career at the same hospital. If tomorrow that was to all go away would I still feel the same? Would there be other things on our foundation, besides a financial aspect, to relate to each other to? My answer is yes...due to all the time we have put into our love and marriage be something unsteady happened. My point being that a job is a necessary part of our life to provide for our family. But, it doesn't have to be our life. It can be just that a "part" of our life. Some relationships of today do remind me of the Casting crowns song "American dream" that can be listed here:

Not saying all divorces or trouble in marriage is based on work. But, according to The first of eight basic causes of divorce is indeed money and I quote from the above site:

"The Bible says that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. (I Timothy 6:10) Just two verses earlier, we also read, "Having food and raiment, let us be therewith content". Paul warns that uncontrolled desire for money will lead to a temptation, a snare and into many and foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition, and pierce themselves through with many sorrows. And then he warns, "Oh man of God, flee these things" I Timothy 6:11. Money is the number one cause of broken homes."

Actually, when I googled was the top of every website I came across on this particular search. Since this is a site devoted mostly to frugal living I felt like this would be a great article to add.

So in closing I do realize that not all marriages are like mine. There are different circumstances for all situations. I would just like to offer what works and has been a blessing for us. I hope you enjoy my article. I wanted to branch off and discuss other things. This was the first thing I felt the Lord move on me to write about. Thank you for taking the time to read.

By: Just another modest Mom A.K.A Crystal M

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